I failed my most recent OB test, which is astounding to me as I'm the person reading OB books and watching birth videos for fun, and at first I thought "I'll be fine, I just have to get a 75 on my next exam for a passing average", but then I thought "there is a small chance I won't pass this course" and instead of blowing that thought off and staying positive I settled into that small chance and began to think about what would happen if things didn't go the way we planned. The thought of dropping to the traditional nursing program (I'm in an accelerated track), and graduating in 2013 is more than I can handle. Plus, with my clinical experience sort of turning me off of becoming a labor & delivery nurse (more on that later), I don't think I would do it. Yes I want to be a nurse, but I want to move to Michigan and start having children more. Maybe I could be a doula (my sister in law Kate and I could do it together), maybe I could become a lactation educator or childbirth educator. Maybe I could somehow find a way to turn this blog into a business of sorts. Thinking about this alternate path is scary and exciting at the same time and I guess, now that I'm half way through nursing school, I'm a little burned out. Nobody in my family read this and panic. I'm sure I'll pass this course (see? optimistic), but if I don't, I think it only makes sense to prepare myself for the possibilities, and be willing to let go.
image via Pinterest, original source unknown.