9.03.2009

Manners

There's this phenomenon I've noticed lately and it seems, the older I get the worse it seems. No one has any manners anymore and I don't mean a man standing up when a lady enters a room kind of manners. I mean the "thank you" basic kind of manners that everyone was supposed to learn before kindergarten. Here's a good example, Mike's family came into town and we went to the pool. Well my 7 year old niece wanted me to go with her on the water slide. So we headed up the moldy stairs to the top of the slide and on my way this little boy snakes around me to get in line in front of me. I'm like "don't worry, we weren't in line" (yeah I'm that person with the passive aggressive comments) anyway, Mike tells me to relax as he's "just a kid". It's not that I'm upset because I now have to wait behind another kid to ride the water slide, my frustration stems from a deeper disgust of the lack of manners in today's children, and frankly today's adults. I worked as a nanny for almost 4 years, and one of my rules when any of the kids had friends over was that everyone had to use their manners. I didn't care if kids didn't want to come over because they had to respect me (even though I wasn't their friend's mother) I got tired of kids just acting like they owned the place, not that I did, but I was responsible for those children and that house when I was there.

Anyway, I can't count how many times Mike will hold doors for women who just walk in like they deserve to have the door held. Yes, you should be treated with respect, that is what he is doing when he holds the door, but no you're not entitled to not say thank you. Don't people still teach their children to say please and thank you? Along the same line, don't walk though a door when someone is behind you and let the door slam in their face.

I'll finish my rant with one example I'm sure we all face everyday. I learned to drive in Michigan, where although the speed limit is faster, there are less cars and less traffic. One of the first things I noticed upon moving to Illinois was that everyone just assumed that they could cut you off. Don't confuse me leaving safe space between myself and the car in front of me as space for your car. Or maybe, if you didn't see me you should give me a little apology "sorry I'm kind of an asshole" wave. Similarly, if I do let you over, just raise your hand off the steering wheel for one second to show your appreciation.

Now I'm not perfect and before anyone thinks I'm up on my high horse, I definitely have my moments. Sometimes I'm tired as hell on the way in to work and deliberately press the 3 button again and again until the door closes, even if I see someone enter the building. I'm also not awesome on formal R.S.V.P.'s, mostly because I don't want to finalize the fact that I'm not going to an event. I feel like maybe if I postpone saying no, I'll end up going. I even know from personal experience how frustrating it is when people don't RSVP, I mean how hard is it to send write your name and send back a stamped envelope.


Damn it.

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